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The end is in progress
Mar. 16th, 2010 11:27 amWell, the tablets they gave C seem to be having their intended effect - she is now bleeding, so we hope that everything should be reset in the next 48 hours or so.
I've taken today off work - I called my boss and told him what was happening yesterday afternoon. His response was understanding, but 'slightly put out' - I suspect that I'm becoming reknown in the company for having constant issues in this area, which, frankly, I dont give a t0ss about. If they dont like it, they can make me redundant me, and I will then retaliate with a lawsuit that will make their eyes water. Mind you, I honestly dont think that they think less of me, but I think that they are treating me with kid gloves because of this. I suppose that I'm going to have to redraw my holiday plans for this year & the next.
I still haven't done any crying, which is odd; on some level, the current tragedy is almost a continuation of Katies story, and whilst it is hard to admit that one tragedy overshadows another, it feels as though this miscarriage is effectively the postscript to a much larger story, one that was much more harrowing in that it was longer & almost 'came right' in the end. Also, the fact that I looked into Katies eyes before she died made her more real, somehow. The maybebaby (whose gender we will never know, sadly) still remains stuck in her shadow, and probably will do so because it is hard to pick out their distinct tune from Katies surrounding symphony.
I wrote too soon. I'm crying now. The thought that I dont even know whether it was a boy or a girl seems monstrous to me somehow.
I sincerely hope that we will find some medical reason for this misery we're having to endure, preferably one that can be treated. We think that the odds are quite high that we will - ultimately - succeed if only because, a la Morcambe & Wise, we have all the right notes, just not in the right order. We can concieve. We can bring a child to term. There are no underpinning genetic reasons why this should go wrong.
All we need to be is lucky.
Just once.
S
I've taken today off work - I called my boss and told him what was happening yesterday afternoon. His response was understanding, but 'slightly put out' - I suspect that I'm becoming reknown in the company for having constant issues in this area, which, frankly, I dont give a t0ss about. If they dont like it, they can make me redundant me, and I will then retaliate with a lawsuit that will make their eyes water. Mind you, I honestly dont think that they think less of me, but I think that they are treating me with kid gloves because of this. I suppose that I'm going to have to redraw my holiday plans for this year & the next.
I still haven't done any crying, which is odd; on some level, the current tragedy is almost a continuation of Katies story, and whilst it is hard to admit that one tragedy overshadows another, it feels as though this miscarriage is effectively the postscript to a much larger story, one that was much more harrowing in that it was longer & almost 'came right' in the end. Also, the fact that I looked into Katies eyes before she died made her more real, somehow. The maybebaby (whose gender we will never know, sadly) still remains stuck in her shadow, and probably will do so because it is hard to pick out their distinct tune from Katies surrounding symphony.
I wrote too soon. I'm crying now. The thought that I dont even know whether it was a boy or a girl seems monstrous to me somehow.
I sincerely hope that we will find some medical reason for this misery we're having to endure, preferably one that can be treated. We think that the odds are quite high that we will - ultimately - succeed if only because, a la Morcambe & Wise, we have all the right notes, just not in the right order. We can concieve. We can bring a child to term. There are no underpinning genetic reasons why this should go wrong.
All we need to be is lucky.
Just once.
S
